In This Issue

"DADDY WON’T BE COMING HOME"

CHANGING, TO AVOID CHANGE

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

MORE INFORMATION...

[EDITOR’S NOTE:  This article is one chapter of the book, IS IT LAWFUL, A COMPREHENSIVE STUDY OF DIVORCE, published in 1989 by Dennis Allan and Gary Fisher.  The book contains articles by 30 gospel preachers.  We commend it for your consideration.]

A gospel preacher, due to the very nature of his work, witnesses many joys, sorrows, and tragedies in the lives of other Christians.  But few experiences seem more tragic to us than the times when we witness the marriage of two Christians end in divorce.  Because this story may help someone avoid the heartache, and since it may give some hope to the hopeless, we relate the account of one such broken home.

The young lady in this particular case, after committing adultery, was so filled with remorse that she admitted her sin to her husband and begged his forgiveness.  The young man agreed and accepted her back, but eventually found that he was too tortured by the memory of what had occurred, and finally obtained a divorce.  Still in love with her husband and seeking reconciliation to both him and God, the young woman did a very brave and commendable thing.  She wrote a very touching article expressing her agony and regret, in hope that she might warn others not to make such a tragic mistake.  As the mother of two young children, now hurt by the breakup of their home, the article reflects the real anguish of adultery and divorce.

“How can a mother explain to her children that by her unfaithfulness their father left their home?  How can she say she is sorry that they won’t have parents to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?  How can she say, ‘I’m sorry you’ll miss the family life of a good Christian home,’ because she was so wicked?  How can she answer her child’s question, ‘Mommy, why did Daddy leave us; why doesn’t he come back home’?  How can she say, ‘I’m sorry’?

“I’ve spent many months torturing myself with these thoughts.  I wish there was a way I could reach out and help another mother who is listening to the world, and is about to make the same mistake I did.

“Three years ago I was a strong Christian, living and doing all I could to please God.  But I started keeping company with people of the world, rather than my Christian brethren, and soon I was listening and doing those things I knew to be wrong.  I neglected to apply the verse, ‘Evil companions corrupt good morals.’  I thought I could handle anything.  Soon, I met a man who convinced me that my good Christian husband was too strict with me.  I needed to break loose and live, and I was weak enough to listen.

“Now, today, I am raising my children alone.  I cannot remarry and give them a father that they so need.  I don’t have that wonderful husband to hold me when I’m hurting.  I don’t have the man I promised to love the rest of my life.  I don’t have the man I married and loved, and still love.

“You see, I committed ADULTERY.  I broke so many of God’s commandments.  I LIED to cover up what I was doing.  I STOLE from my children their father.  I MURDERED my husband’s love for me.  But most of all, I CRUCIFIED Christ, over and over again.

“I’m sorry, children, that I caused your daddy to leave home.  I’m sorry that I hurt your daddy so much.  I’m sorry that I found out too late just how deeply I love your daddy.  But you see, children, now Daddy doesn’t love me.”

Such stories rarely have happy endings, but this is one of those wonderful exceptions.  Although it took a few years to effect, a reconciliation took place and the marriage has been restored.  Not only is the couple living together happily again, but we notice wonderful strengths that have come from the trials of the past.  Is it possible for a couple’s love to be stronger than ever after such a bitter struggle?  This family is living proof that it can happen with God’s help.

The B-58 super-sonic bomber is equipped with a tracking device which is  "locked on" two stars.  A warning is sounded if the plane wanders as much as 1/10 of a degree off course; and on a long journey the pilot may make many corrections--CHANGES--in ORDER TO KEEP FROM CHANGING the destination of the plane.

This process is routine, and the pilot welcomes the warnings because he is intent upon completing his mission.  It is hard to imagine a pilot who would resent such assistance, for he knows that "drift"' is difficult to detect without reference to some fixed and constant point.

Of course some of my brethren would "take a reading'' on the other planes in the formation, and "stay with the brotherhood'' regardless of the result.  Paul calls this "measuring themselves by themselves,'' and says those who do so are not wise (2 Cor. 10:12).

We who believe the scriptures to be divine, and all-sufficient, accept them as our fixed, infallible guide.  Here the "Way'' of Christ is made known.  It is our intention to keep unswervingly to this course--in fact we hold that our very identity as the church of Christ depends upon our adherence to this route.  We do not claim to be perfect--but we do claim to be striving for perfection.

Such striving necessitates change.  We would be blind indeed not to recognize that at times we stray from the course.  Theories and/or practices may be accepted for a time that seem harmless--even beneficial.  When we are warned of our "drift'' our reaction may show our true allegiance.

If we have "joined a Church'' we wait to see what others will do.  If we have been joined unto Christ, we compare our course with His word, and move accordingly.  Our fundamental and all-absorbing aim is to follow Him.  We change our teaching and practice readily, to avoid changing this most basic principle.

Since Christ is the only "creed'' accepted by the true church, we have not changed--''left the church''--until we no longer make necessary corrections.  Then, we have CHANGED INDEED, and journey without hope.

I shall long cherish the memory of that delightful evening I spent at my home.  My wife and I had a simple dinner alone, with pleasant and interesting conversation.  Then we sat at the piano and sang many of our favorite songs.  When our throats grew weary, turned on the stereo and heard beautiful music...  We strolled, arm-in-arm, through our moonlit yard.  I was so very happy, and I longed for more such evenings.  But, alas -- early the next morning, a truck pulled into our drive way and shattered my hopes.  It was the TV repairman.