In This Issue

• "NOT MY WILL, BUT YOURS..."
• OPTIONS THAT MARRIED PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE
• SPIRITUAL CASUALTIES
• MORE INFORMATION...

"NOT MY WILL, BUT YOURS..."

As the hours were winding down toward Jesus' arrest and trial, He ate with His apostles "the last supper." He informed them that one of them would betray Him, another would deny Him, and all of them would be made to stumble. He privately informed Judas of His awareness of the betrayal and Judas left the gathering. Jesus and the remaining eleven apostles sang a hymn and went out to the Mount of Olives. It was at that time that He foretold Peter's denial, and the wavering of the others.

"Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, 'Sit here while I go and pray over there.' And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, 'My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.' He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, 'O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will but as You will.' Then He came to the disciples and found them asleep, and said to Peter, 'What, could you not watch with Me one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.' He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, 'O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, You will be done.' And He came and found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy. So He left them, went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. Then He came to His disciples and said to them, 'Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going. See, he who betrays Me is at hand'" (Matt. 26:36-46).

After a public ministry of about three and a half years, the Lord had many disciples who had begun to follow Him and learn from Him. Among those disciples, twelve were especially close -- those men He had appointed as apostles. And among the twelve apostles, there were three who were perhaps closer to Jesus than the others: Peter, James and John. It was these three closest friends who went the farthest with Jesus as He prayed in Gethsemane.

In His prayer to the heavenly Father, Jesus used the figure of a cup to picture the suffering He was beginning to go through as the crucifixion loomed on the horizon. Jesus dreaded the pain, agony and shame of the cross. If there had been some other way to accomplish God's will, He would have welcomed it. But note that Jesus' supreme will was to do the will of His Father. What a contrast to the attitude manifested in another garden at the dawn of creation. There Adam and Eve subjugated God's will to their own. Jesus was willing to do God's will above that which seemed needful for His own flesh. God grant that we, too, may learn to seek His will above our own fleshly "needs" and desires.

--CRJ

OPTIONS THAT MARRIED PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE

When two people are married legally (according to the civil laws they live under, Rom. 13:1-7), and in the eyes of God (according to the law of God who originated marriage, Gen. 2:18-24; Rom. 7:2-3; Matt. 5:32; 19:3-6, 9 -- and the law of God supercedes the ordinances of men), they often vow to love, honor, and cherish one another for better or worse, in sickness and in health, and in prosperity and in adversity until death parts them. In fact, whether such vows are made a part of the wedding ceremony or not, such obligations inhere in the marriage relationship, and husbands and wives are expected by God to live up to them.

So many couples, both young and old, think they just have to get married (and they are in such an emotional romantic mood that hardly anyone can talk them out of it), but they (either both of them or one of them) soon decide that they don’t have to (or should that be "want to") stay married. But God has given them no such option! Jesus said, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matt. 19:6).

Some decide that they want a divorce from a mate because they are "no longer in love" with that mate. They should have been certain about their love before the marriage. And they need to know that God commands husbands and wives to love one another, Eph. 5:25, 28, 33; Titus 2:4 (and these passages were written during a time that in many cultures parents arranged the marriages of their children). Husbands and wives do not have the option of deciding to stop loving one another.

Some decide that they want a divorce because a mate has contracted a debilitating disease (MS, MD, etc.) or has been paralyzed by an accident. They don’t want to be tied down by "a cripple," but God has not given them that option. The unfortunate mate needs them more than ever, and they need to show the nobility of their love, their character, and their commitment.

Some decide that they want a divorce because they have found someone else that they "truly love" (or like better), someone who also shows greater love for them (their perception) than their mate. But what kind of person would become romantically involved with another man’s wife or another woman’s husband? Could such a person ever be trusted as a husband or a wife? (And could they be trusted?) But, again, God did not give them any such option. Marriage is for life, and not "until you find someone you like better."

Some decide that they want a divorce because they "just don’t get along well" with their mate, or they "really weren’t ready for such a commitment," or they have found that "they are no longer compatible" with their mate, or they "don’t feel loved and important," or they "argue all the time," etc., but God has given them no such option. Grow up, mature, get help, but work out your problems. The majority of divorced and remarried people admit that they were better off in their first marriage than they realized.

Marriage is of God; He who originated it has a right to regulate it. He has done so in the Bible, the revelation of Himself and His will for mankind. God’s plan is one man and one woman for life with one exception. That one exception is fornication (sexual immorality). The innocent and faithful mate has been given the right (not the duty) to divorce the guilty mate [and] marry another. The guilty mate has been given no such right. When two people marry, they have entered a serious relationship. Both need to be sure that they are both ready for such a commitment. People may change their minds and go back on their promises, but God’s law does not change.

--Bill Crews, Park Forest Proclaimer, Baton Rouge, Louisiana

SPIRITUAL CASUALTIES

What causes our young people to become spiritual casualties? Why is it that many of the church’s young people leave the church once they are out on their own? Who is to blame? Unless parents and churches begin to seriously address this problem, this problem will only grow worse.

THE HOME ENVIRONMENT

The primary responsibility of raising children belongs to the parents. The scriptures are very specific on this point. "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Eph 6:4 NKJV). Sometimes parents forget that there is much more to conversion than just being baptized. Often, when parents sees their child baptized, they give a big sigh of relief and think their job is over. That is a very big mistake! The teaching and the training must continue on until the child becomes an adult and leaves home.

Unfortunately, many young people do not receive the teaching and example setting they need while they are at home. At this time let’s give some consideration to some of the problem areas some families experience.

INCONSISTENCY

This is perhaps one of the greatest failings parents often suffer from. They say one thing to their children, and then do something else. Many times children see their parents lie, cheat others and use vulgar language. Do you really think such behavior will result in a child wanting to aspire to be a faithful Christian their entire life? No way! I have heard parents say, "I don't know what I am going to do with my teenage son/daughter. It is a constant battle to get him/her to the services. He/she never wants to go." Is it any wonder? When these same parents use every excuse in the book to miss services. The problem is that children can see right through their parent's hypocrisy. In time, a child usually decides that they want no part in the religious farce of their parents.

CRITICISM

In many cases children are subjected to non-stop criticism of the local church. Throughout their childhood they constantly hear their parents expound upon what is wrong with the local congregation. Their parents are always ripping the preacher apart for something, ridiculing the Elders for their decisions and on and on. Children need to hear some positive things about the church. If they are constantly fed a steady diet of negativism, they will never develop into strong mature Christians.

ABUSE

In Col. 3:21 we can read, "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discour-aged." Some parents are entirely too critical of their children. They are always trying to run their children in the ground. Nothing their children do is ever good enough. This develops into a low self-image and will result in a lack of confidence in parents. These negative feelings tend to carry over in the child's attitude toward God and get in the way of his/her future salvation. God did not intend for children to be the recipient of all of the parents pent up emotions and hostilities.

THE CONGREGATIONAL ENVIRONMENT

There are occasions when congregations must shoulder some of the responsibility of young people leaving the church. When congregations are always feuding and fighting about some trivial thing, children will often conclude that they want nothing to do with the church as an adult. When children are subjected to 16 years of Bible classes that are boring and dull, children will often conclude that the Bible can do them no good. When children observe Christians in the congregation doing things that are immoral, and nothing is ever said or done, they will conclude that immorality is no big deal.

In too many cases, parents and congregations place all the blame for a spiritual failure on to the young person that has left the church. Often, people will say such thing as, "They were never really converted"; "They are just too stubborn and willful"; "They got into the wrong crowd and were led astray". In some cases these observation may have some validity. Nevertheless, parents and congregations still need to shoulder some of the responsibility. Accepting responsibility is necessary so that in the future improvement can be made to prevent additional spiritual failures.

--Jack Critchfield, The Proclaimer, January, 2000

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